on the verge

I've been here before.

It's not knowing what to do while knowing not to do it.
It's finding sense for everything while recognizing the fact that no reason can satisfy the cause.
It's wishing for near solace while digging deeper into quandary.

I've been here before.
This is the part where I'm supposed to know what to do or how to handle things.
Why does it seem all but an unknown state of bewilderment once again?
This is the part where I'm supposed to recall the last time I was here, when I was here, and what I did when I was here.
Why does it seem like it has never happened?

I can't run away anymore. Now is all i have.

Help me remember what I did right the last time.