saltwater

I'm a self-confessed crybaby. Even for the most unimaginable reasons, tears seem to escape my eyes. Funny thing is I don't find it necessary to hold it back.

Ask me why I'm crying and don't expect a rational answer. Wait, I take that back. Not even an irrational one.

I prefer crying than any other expression of emotion. Why? Sanity reasons, I guess.

Wouldn't it be more sane and to cry alone than to laugh alone?

You have no right to ask me why.
And believe me, you'd wish you never asked me in the first place.

the paper bag

I've been keeping my room's door open lately. I sleep in my parents' room at least twice a week. I don't like being alone. It's not that I can't function without anyone else, it's just that I want escape from things and thoughts that would bring tears back.

A couple of days ago, I cleaned my room. I emptied my drawers and cabinets and was able to gather tons of papers and old books. I also filled two garbage bags with roughly around 5 years' worth of trash. And memories.

Nope, I'm not the type who burns old pictures and letters. So instead, I gathered all of them and kept them neatly in one paper bag. And that was it. Just ONE paper bag. I never thought I could fit four years of laughter and tears (with everything in between) into one medium sized bag.

As I tucked it in the farthest corner of my cabinet, I was secretly wishing for something-that the next time I open it, it would either be to pile up more memories or to finally find the strength to throw it all away.